3/19/03
The Spiritual Chicks^SM Speak Out!

Do I need to suffer?

There's no way to sugarcoat this: It is impossible to be human and not suffer. But what does "suffer" really mean? One definition is "to feel pain or distress," as in, "I am suffering from cancer." We all resonate with that, and for good reason. Because we have bodies, we cannot avoid the experience of physical pain---our very entry into this world involved pain and discomfort for both mother and child. And, because we are emotional creatures, it is impossible to escape feeling down or blue from time to time. In the human kingdom, pain and distress simply go with the territory---but so does joy. 

There is another definition of the word "suffer" that means "to experience, feel, or undergo." We all know the saying, "Everyone must suffer the consequences of their actions." We usually ascribe a negative connotation to this thanks to the Judeo-Christian notions of judgment, sin, and human imperfection. But, "suffering," as in "experiencing," does not have to lead to a negative outcome. We can equally experience wonderful results from our actions, like when we finally get that job promotion after years of dedicated work or when we are thrilled to discover that we're going to have a baby after making love with our partner. In a real sense, "to suffer" is shorthand for the law of cause and effect. When we focus all of our attention on pain and distress---either by glorifying it or avoiding it---we create more of the same. On the other hand, when we give ourselves permission to experience and feel all the aspects of life, the ups and the downs, the joys and the challenges, we accept our magnificent role as co-creator and life becomes a spiritual adventure.